Innovation Delivered...but to the wrong hands...

I asked my wife, "What kinda of shady shit company do we work for?"

Our HR department got broken into and had one of the computers stolen. All of our personal banking information was in that computer.

What kinda of company does not protect sensitive, confidential and private information safe from thieves?

Read here http://www.canada.com/victoriatimescolonist/news/capital_van_isl/story.html?id=8a46b13b-03dc-42ed-9b24-e65d54583bf4&k=28710 it was on the news.

What a pain in the arse I had to go though in changing all my account information. I'm lucky I've only registered two banks, but my wife she had three or four banks she had to go change her account info.

So I walked into the back and I told them that our company had their computer stolen...and right then and there they said you work for Accenture?

Yup. Great now I work for a company known for their shady security in protecting their employees confidential information.

Believing in ghosts...

I have a buddy who believes in UFOs, ghosts, out of body experiences, Ouija boards, Big foot, fortune tellers and all that BS.

I believe in spirts, and a God and there is a Devil, but not as bad as some people.

I remember years ago a buch of us guys stayed over a buddy's farm. We decided to scare this buddy who believes in anything that goes bump in the night.

So all of us knew about this plan and my buddy who owned the farm was telling everyone that there is one room that her aunt died in and it was haunted, and at night we were all sleeping on the floor in the living room and we were talking about ghosts and hauntings and stuff.

So I was on the other side of the floor in the living room....I knocked the floor slowly for about four or five times. Then all of a sudden there was a silent from my buddy who believed in all the spooks...We were like "Steph...steph...STEPH..." no words came from him.

Next morning he came up to me and said..."Mike! Last night I didn't want to say anything cos I heard the ghost!...I heard knocking sounds coming from the FLOOR!!"

The moral of the story is...if you have a weakness DON'T LET ANYBODY KNOW ABOUT IT, esp if they're your buddies.

At our work place we employ mentally handicap people to sort recycled paper, to colours, to cardboard to white paper to news paper. It's a great thing that our company had done.

I went to the Caff today and went to the can. I sat there and I heard someone sat next to my stall. Then I heard him singing "kicking you can all over the place... We will, we will ROCK YOU!"

So he sining this and everyone in the washroom can hear this. So as he's singing I was doing the "STOMP STOMP CLAP, STOMP STOMP CLAP" with my finders on the metal door, and the guy next to me sining louder and louder I started to sing with him, "We will, we will ROCK You"

I wasn't sure if I was encuraging him by doing that...but eventually he flushed and left the can next to mine.

I can relate w/the mentally handy cap. Some time I need to act mental to be sane!

Once again I had another blood test for my diabetes. I had to fast for 10hrs before the test, that wasn't too bad, I slept at 9pm and gave blood at 9am.

Man that needle still looks huge!! I had asked this nurse if she enjoys poking ppl. She replied..."It's not bad" POKE!!

Getting a shot is not as bad as you make it to be, it's all I think psychological. If you make look or feel bad it WILL, if you don't I won't.

I usually check it out when the needle goes in your arm. One time, a long time ago the nurse missed my vein and she moved the needle left and right...I screamed at the bitch..WTF are you doing!!!

After thaking the blood sample she gave me a container to pee in...So I did...I wasn't sure if I should pee halfway or full...It's pretty hard to stop after you're going...so I spilled some on the floor.

Why do they stirile the cup that you pee in? I mean you don't really drink from it first. I wonder if other ppl check out the samples when they're just in the washroom doing their usual washroom thing.

My skin around my arms are itchy.

My wife told me not to scratch my arms, but it's itchy. What do most ppl do when they're itchy? They scratch! Esp in bed she thinks I leave fleas in the bed cos she get's itchy. Sigh the womens logic

I went to see the doctor and she told me it was eczema, and she had perscribed me some steroid cream and she said I should keep my skin hydrated by putting on skin cream.

I asked her if Noxema will cure Exzema...I was surprised that Noxema Cream will not cure Eczema.

So today is St. Patricks day. I went to Starbucks to pickup a coffee and found out they had an Irish Latte.

Hmmm...So I asked what's in a Irish Latte? Is it just a Green coffee instead of brown?

She told me it's got Irish Cream in it.

Well I though it's kinda early in the morning to be drinking alcahol, so I ordered on.

Well to my disapointment there was no alcahol.

In Chinese wearing a green hat means you're wife is free for anyone who wants to have sex.

So I found it funny seeing all these men at my work place wearing green hats.

Just don't wear it in Chinatown!

Today I went to Fujiya to pick up some sushi...I usually pickup a bento box and Negitoro Roll...

So I sat down and ate the Bento box consisting of rice and unagi (bbq eel). Then I opened up the sushi box and an aroma of puke came out of the box...

I looked at it and saw a slimy piece fell off the roll. I'm like that's not tuna.

I was going to return the Negitoro Roll, then I looked at the box closely and saw it said Natto roll.

WTF?!? I know what Natto is that's Japanese Fermented stinky to high hell beans!!

I tried it before in Tokyo at a firends place...I could not eat that shit...It smelled like wet socks and it was slimy...Blech...It's suppose to be good for you but NO THANKS...I rather suck on my day old socks.

I'm planning to give it for my homestay for dinner tonight, I know japanese ppl love Natto, just like chinese ppl like bitter melons.

Bleach....

How do you tell a buddy that his sense of humour SUCKS?

Do you just don't laugh?

Do you tell him straight up?

I have a buddy who thinks he funny, how? Well he laughs out loud at his own jokes.

Every good comedian knows never laugh at your own jokes.

Dude if you laugh at your own jokes and nobody else is laughing you're not fucken funny!!

I was really, really, really looking forward to dragonboating yesterday, but we had a storm and wind warning yesteday.

I'm itching to paddle, don't call it rowing cos in dboating it's paddling.

It's like on a bike you go riding on motorbike not biking!

Here's our team website http://www.rglunited.com/ . What does the RGL stand for? Well I dunno if you guys seen Zoolander...we got it from that movie. Ridiculously Good Looking!

Check out our site and you'll know why.

It's funny to see the reactions we get when we tell other teams what our name stands for. It's especially funny when they know where Ridiculously Good Looking came from, cos they say it the same way Ben Stiller says it, "There is nothing more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking"

In the changing rooms of the gym or the pool while taking a shower and somebody is talking to you...What do you do?

Do you turn around and talk to them? Do you, as Sienfield puts it, sneak a peek?

I was in the changing room taking a crap and I hear two guys talking in the shower. I dunno but I find my private parts private. Being Chinese and all I'm not ashame to show them off, but they're still private.

I think I would stare at the cyramic walls of the shower and talk to them...But what do you do when you can see at the corner of your eyes he's facing you?

Girls do you have this problem too?

Comments are welcome.

So we might go on strike...

35% in wage decreases total. That's what our company is offering us, and they would not budge.

How sad an international company treats their employees. Wage, holiday, and pension cuts.

Our company believes that retirees of the company are just burdens to the company, and with the first quarter net revenue of 4.17 billion dollars we deserve all the pay and holiday cuts.

Already our unions are preparing strike teams.

Has anyone seen the movie "In Good Company" ? I've dl'd and prob watch it this week. It's about big companies making huge profits paying their employees shit.

WTF are they gonna do with 4.17 billion dollars? Pay Tiger woods to endorse us?

Hence my motto.

My co-worker was punished by his wife.

He had promised his wife that he would be home couple of weeks ago to spend time with her on her birthday.

But he had forgotten that he had to do some server work on that day and it was a scheduled outage that the company had planned for.

So guess what...he went to work, and when he got back home he appologized to her and bought her roses and all that sorry stuff...

She said " I wanna go see a movie."

" Sure wich one?"

"Lets go see Brokeback Mountain."

"Sure, what's that movie about?"

"Oh...it's a western, it's about cow boys."

"Sure..."

He told me it was quite a provocutive movie...

Now not to bash the movie or anything, I'm sure it's quite an excellent movie that ocsars is written all over it. But a movie about Gay Cowboys? That's just looking for laugh, people will make fun of the movie.

But what cowboy movie isn't funny?

"Don't get soo close to Henry he's got rashes on his butt, you might get them too!", "Don't get too close to the pregnant woman you'll become retarded.", "Don't sit on that seat, it's hot, you'll get hemroids".

My mom is into soo much old wives tales. When I was young I believed it all also. I ran away from pregnant women, I never sat on warm seats, and I always stay away from Henry in elementry school.

Why am I typing this? Well I have a huge zit on one side my my ass crack...and everytime I walk my other cheek would rub against it, and it would hurt.

I tried to pop it but it hurts...I hope it's not a hemroid...not sure if I should get the doc to check it.

I'm gonna change my motto...

The rich gets richer, the poor gets pooer, the middle income gets screwed, straight men gets worse.

Why only straight men? Well let me explain...

Gay guys...well they know how to take care of themselves, looking good for other men and they know how to dress and keep fit and make them selves...well Metrosexual like. I know cos I live in the Gay capital of Canada, Vancouver.

Straight guys don't want to check out gay or metrosexual men...they want to check out women. But women can check them out cos they're soooo hot.

Lesbians well most of them look like guys...straight guys don't want to check them out cos they look like men. Yup we got screwed again.

PMS, most women have PMS, and who needs to deal w/that...Yup us straight men who are married or in a serious relationship. We got screwed.

The rich...well they can get poo-tang any time they want.

The poor...thanks to the Canadian assistance, I know they don't get that much for money...but most of them just don't give a shit about life.

That just leaves us middle income straight men. We just take in all the shit and pay's out all the taxes, and worries too much about bill payments, and have just enuff to make ends meet.