I'm always the Groomsman never the Bestman...
This weekend is a buddies wedding and I always made fun of him...Always the Bestman never the Groom. He was my Bestman and he was his brother's Bestman also. It was a hint for him to find a companion.

We were worried for him that he would not be able to find someone, and I also had suggested to his Stepmom and his dad for him to go to China and find a nice girl there, and I had bought him a shirt stating that he's shy but have a big penis.

I had three guys in my wedding party, all three great friends, there was a reason I picked this friend to be my Bestman.

You know there is usually a red or yellow line where you ususally wait for the Rapid Transit or the Subway system where you are not suppose to cross until the vehicle is at a full stop. Well for my stag and Chinese wedding there are alot of wedding games or just games to embarass the groom.

Well I know my Bestman will push me to the yellow line, one of my other Groomsman will push me pass the yellow line, and the other will push me off the ledge, but my Bestman is sensitive enuff to save me. That is why he was my Bestman.

I hope the weather will hold up till the weekend so I can push my buddy over the ledge.

Well last Saturday was my bday...man I'm getting old. We had about twenty ppl over our small tiny place and we had hot pot.

Yup we all smoked up.

Is Vancouver really known as the Weed Capital of North America?

Well we didn't really smoke up we had hot pot for food, also known as Shabu-shabu.

The day before my bday I told my wife to be nice to me cos it was my Pre-Bday, and the day after was my Post Bday. But after midnite she was pissed at me already. Must be the pregnancy.

I wonder if there is an age limit for a bday party at McDonalds? Hmmmm maybe next year I can have my 34th bday at MickyD's.

Do you ever watch TV? I'm sure you've seen that show where there is this inmature friend drops by your place, a person who your wife absolutly hates cos he so imature and is a jack ass...

Well I don't have a friend like that yet...But I can see one coming.

So seven of us went to Portland Or over the weekend for tax free shopping. My wife bought over three hundred bucks worth of clothes, I bought about 150 worth of clothes, our japanese students bought ton of clothes, even one of my techy friends bought clothes too from Portland.

He said the prices are just too irresitable to not buy any clothes...Except for one Bud...instead of clothes he bought some car wax, a nerf ball and hoop, and a B-B Gun.

I think if it wasn't his gf my wife would hate to have him over our place...Dude you're 32 and you still play w/b-b guns? It was cool when we were shooting at shit when we were 17 but you're old now!!!

Sigh...It's good to be young at heart, but time to grow up.

So my dad came back from a trip in Europe. He was there for three weeks.

As some of you guys may know my dad is cheap. But he did bring one thing back from Germany...

I'll give you three guess' on what he bought back...

No...not German beer....

No...not German accordion

No...not German Shepard...

He bought back...get this...not one but two roasted pig legs.

That's right he bought back meat in his luggage for us straight from Germany to enjoy. I dunno how he got it though customs but he did it.

It tasted like ham I guess...I didn't wanted too much of it cos I wasn't sure how long it had been in his baggage.

It must of been a good eight pounds of meat and bone.

I wished he had bought beer instead.

So my wife is 13 1/2 weeks pregnant, we've finally told most ppl, our parents knew about it for a while already.

It's pretty hard to not let anyone know until after 12 weeks cos it's soo exciting and soo scary cos the first 12 weeks are the most dangerous. One of my friends had a mis-carriage and they're a pretty young couple.

This is the reason why I've been cutting back on my blogging...It was to do mostly w/my wife and stoof.

But now it's all good...Went to check the doctors yesterday and we got to hear the heartbeat of the baby...it was soo cool!!

They say your life will change after marriage but your life will change even more after having a kid.

After three days my legs are still killing me. So during the stag we played hockey and it was three of the heviest out of shape guys vs three of the most ice hockey in shape ppl.

So we did it we waxed my buddy...His legs were as shiny as the lake when the sun hits it.

It's been a while since he's seen his leg that clean and shiny.

So we went drinking after the hockey game and gave him a granny dress to wear. He looked hot esp when his man boobs were perking out of his dress. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him.

As ppl were taking pics there were some ppl holing his breasts and biting them...it was soooo funny.

My buddy is a pretty smart guy. He doesn't drink much but he can take his booze. First I bought him a beer to warm up then someone bought him a Zambuka, and he was fine...just the after taste gave him a bad flavor in his mouth.

So I bought him a 151, he was a bit woozie after that but he was still able to hold a conversation after that, so a buddy asked me to get him a drink, but he wasn't sure what to get him...I suggested a muff dive.

When he saw the whipped cream he started to bitch and complain that he was drunk already and enuff was enuff and he could not hold it down any more...bla bla blah...So he took it down.

I must say it was a pretty bad muff dive....Then he was talking away, we can see it that he did not have enuff alchahol in his system yet...Another budy of mine ordered him the Prarie Fire...and so it was sitting in fron of him...and he's sayin and bitchin that he's too drunk to drink it and he's had his limit and bla, bla, blah...So eventually he took it.

So when there was no booze in front of him he's all fine and can comprehend every conversation but whenever there was booze infront of him he's "Oh I can't, I'm over my limit, I'm drunk, It hurts, I want my daddy, bla bla bla..."

Someone bought him a shot of Tequilia and he didn't drink that and had someone else took it for him cos he was too drunk and hurt and blah bla blah...Sigh...What a bull shitter

So I went back to the diabeties clinic again, and I didn't realize that they were goning to check my feet out that afternoon.

Well I worked out in the morning and as I pulled off my shoe a huge aroma of microwaved popcorn came out of my foot. I'm like, Oh Shit...sweat. The nurse put her fingers on my feet poking and prodding away and she ran her fingers on the bottom of my feet and asked me if I could feel that.

I'm like yeah it tickles...Then she told me to take off my other shoe...Again a huge aroma of popcorn came out from my feet...shit...I told her if she's gonna check out my feet next time I would washed it first.

I dunno how they do it..I hate to be a nurse they do a lot of gross shit...I would of puked if I touched my feet.

What do you call it when you don't goto the peelers, don't dress up, play hockey have dinner, no games?

The Best Christian Stag for a non Christian!

Those types of Stags are fricken lame...you go play hockey or golf w/the guys and have dinner. Come on Lame-O...I've planned many stags and they've been fun and memeriable, but when come to a good friend and you don't get any support for you plans...Sure it'll be fun...but it will be remembered as the Best Christian Stag for a non Christian.

I love shopping at Value Village for the poor saps, peelers and peeler bars, and drinking, parading ppl, renting a bang bus, embarassing the heck of them cos it's their last month to be single and have fun.

Cos my buddy is a teacher he can't be paraded around town...so we're gonna play hockey and have dinner...--YAWN-- Might as well finish off the night by reading the bible.

LAME-O

Went to see the dentist yesterday...I think she had PMS or something but the service was so Shitty...I swear I never felt so much pain from the cleaning yesterday that was administered by her.

I had to hold on to the sylvia sucker and cos she was causing soooo much pain the sucker was going further and further away from my mouth.

I'm like what happend to the nice looking dental assistants? Where did ugly one come from and where did she go? Isn't she suppose to help suck the sylvia out of my mouth?

The newbie dental assistant jammed the x-ray in my mouth and every sharp ends of the little negative film strip was piercing though my gums...it was the most painful x-ray I got.

She told me I have one cavity I need to fill up and she would like to put a crown on my back tooth...But after yesterdays experience...I think I'm gonna look for another dentist one with good looking dental assistants.

So on the weekend our local Chocolate factories had a open house. So I thought it would be neat to bring our homestay students to the factory and pig out on chocolate.

I also called a buddy of mine to come too...While we where lining up, he told me that he was on a low sugar diet and had stopped eating chocolate bars and drinking pop for three weeks.

He had told me that the fizz in the pop kills sperm and both of his parents are diabetic, but his girl friend told me he still drank alot of those sugary juices tho.

I told him the fizz won't kill sperm...tight underwears will and he should stop wearing briefs and go comando. Yeah this is the same guy that believes in all that BS.

So as we were lining up his girlfriends bought one of those famouse icecream bars with their chocolate coating and peanuts on there and offered it to him. He didn't want any cos he was still on the diet. I was quite impressed with his will power.

So we were in the line up for about a good hour and finally we got to the door and whoosh a huge aroma of chocolate had hit our noses...boy it was soo yummy.

I heard my buddy said...SCREW THIS...I'm gonna eat Chocolate. He CAVED IN!! So he was stuffing his face w/chocolates and as we exited the tour my wife was all chocolated out but my buddy bought one of those icecreams and to top it all off we headed over to Costco and had a hot dog and POP lunch there.

Moral of this blog...don't take a sugar addict to a chocolate factory.

I have a new website...

http://Mike_Chau.youaremighty.com

No Joke!