In two weeks it will be that time of month.

When my wife has PMS ppl in a fifty meter radius can tell that she has PMS. My friends, family, everyone around can tell that she has PMS and I'm the first one who feels it.

Every friends and family knows but they don't say anything, but usually mutter words of condolences to me.

I think after all these years being with her I've developed a PMS radar, but I think it's just the PMS look.

What is the PMS look?

Tiredness, the eyes, something about the eyes, it seems a astigmatism developes.

There is the PMS attitude that all married men know about...

The look of WTF is everyone doing?

I know it doesn't make sense but it better make sense to YOU!

I think PMS is the root cause of all Divorces and that's why some men have problems with commitment. So don't blame men for commitments.

Sigh...I think the only cure from women's PMS is to be gay.

Buhaaa...Global Warming is FAKE!!!!

I knew it I knew it!!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4499562022478442170&q=global+warming+swindle

On Sunday we went to "Pray the Mountain" or pay respect the dead on my wife's side.

Every year we would have a hard time finding the right bronze headge stone...every one is walking around looking and wandering aimlessly around finding their dead loved ones.

Chinese ppl believe in burning fake cash(aka Hell's Cash) or clothes so that the dead will receive them once they are burnt.

So after burning all that stuff we had a big metal container of ash and my wifes relatives went to the garbage can and emptied the ashes in the garbage can...Boy I wished I had a camera with me.

Half of the ppl tried to put the fire out that had started in the garbage can and half of them were wandering aimlessly around looking for the next bronze headge stone.

I told my wife when I die I want something protruding out of my headge stone so ppl can find me right away.

He's over there I can see Mike's cock!

I have a friend...his last name is Fung.
I have another friend...his last name is Phung.
Both of them are Chinese...one of them was living in Vietnam for a while, but they are both pronounced the same.

My last name is Chau but there are Chows out there also. When our parents immigrated here they didn't know a word of English and I guess there wasn't a standard in naming Azns.

Now what dictates the sound "fff" is spelled "ph" or "f"? Was this a french thing?

I was reading the news paper today and quote it for you...

"Phuc is the young, naked skinny girl running from a black, smoky sky, her arms outstretched..."
"Phuc has spent much of her live travelling as a representative of her own charity..."
"Phuc said she's happy with the way her life turned out, because she is still able to help others..."

Just to be fair her full name is "Phan Thi Phuc" aka Kim Phuc...now imagine it spelt the other way.

I'm not going to make any more comments cos she was severely burnt when she was young.

Do you watch American Idol?

I was kinda choked when both Azn guys got voted off cos there isn't enuff Azn's watching American Idol.

There's this guy in Idol...he sucks, yet he is still the top seven...his name is Sanjaya.

Poor song pics, he has a good voice but it's not the best, had has a HOT Sister...just google Sanjaya's sister.

I'm sitting here wondering why he keeps on winning week after week...then I found out about this web site...

http://votefortheworst.com/

It's a campaign to screw American Idol...Good for them! Simon Cowell said he will quit if Sanjaya wins Idol...http://foreveridol.com/archives/165

Then the light bulb turned on...maybe i should start a site...http://vote for theaznguy.com for next year's idol.

I'm ticklish as heck...So I'm sleeping falling into my REM and all of a sudden I feel fingers on my belly and my wife tickled me.

She asked me if I was sleeping and I said I just fell asleep and she woke me up. Then she stated putting her legs and feet on my leg...I didn't mind that but her feet were cold as the heck.

I didn't think I made too much of a fuss, but every time I'm up and touch her while she is sleeping she makes a huge fuss and whines and tells me not to touch her cos she's sleeping. Yeah but about three hours ago she wouldn't let me sleep.

So couple of nights go she had her leg on top of mine...I made sure I didn't move my leg so it would be on me until she fell asleep. About half an hour later I can tell she was sleeping then I started humping her leg and she immediately pulled her leg away.

We'll see if she'll put her leg on me again.

So I'm reading the Metro Newspaper today in the Skytrain and I'm reading the story about a gas attendant was dragged to his death because he was trying to stop someone from stealing gas.

Here's what I read...
"Three B.C. Supreme Court judges unanimously agreed to reduce Pratt’s sentence by two years. They said the original sentence did not consider Pratt’s "broken family guidance" or his disadvantaged Aboriginal background"

Disadvantage Aboriginal background? Are they sayin he's disadvantage cos he's aboriginal?

His "broken family guidance" most likely is the case but disadvantage Aboriginal background is defiantly not the case.

Let me tell you this I think the only disadvantaged ppl are Chinese ppl. My grandfather paid a Head Tax to come here to Canada, eventho we got a refund think of all of the other Chinese ppl who didn't.

We had to work on the rail roads, worked our ass off to just make ends meet, paid our taxes joined the Canadian wars, paid taxes, learn a forgien language, paid taxes, make minimum wage for most of our lives, paid taxes, saved every penny, paid taxes, paid for university education, paid taxes, faced racism, paid taxes, and oh did I mention we had to pay taxes?

Now Aboriginals don't need to pay for any Canadian Taxes, no income, GST or PST. Free medicare, and free Education. They get to fish as much as they want, whenever they want and whatever they want. Gee that's a Disadvantage.

Maybe cos us Chinese ppl don't bitch enuff.

Now if I was smart I would of married an aboriginal person for some tax benefits, I might need to live in a TeePee but hey it's probably just like camping.

Ok this pisses me off...I was watching the news and they're thinking of taxing bottle water cos water levels are getting low due to climate change.

DUE TO CLIMATE CHANGE???? WTF??? I thought global warming was melting the ice in the Artic and is causing problems with higher water levels.

Global warming is making our world warmer but the ice melts and is making our waters colder. http://www.livescience.com/forcesofnature/041217_sealevel_rise.html

WTF???

Well we better stop drinking water cos in a billion year there won't be any left. OMG!! Can't you just evaporate piss?

I was dboating and a buddy said that he hated when his girlfriend cooks.

I don't like it when my wife cooks also, and that is why I cook most of the times.

She spends too much time chopping stuff and cook, but that's not what peeves me about her cooking, she hasta use every pot, pan, dish, spatula, spoon, fork, knife and chopstick, but that's not what peeves me we had made an agreement whoever cooks the other one will do the dishes.

Guess who needs to do the dishes after she clears the cupboard after cooking? ME!!!

First of all it takes me 1/4 of the time to cook and I use 1/100th of the utensils that she does.

Her cooking is not bad it's getting better but I think you would cook too if you had to clean up every cutlery in the cupboard.

So back to the story my buddy said that his girlfriend pull out dishes that he didn't even know that existed....

Sigh, I thought I was the only one who was experiencing all this...

So I was at the gym talking to a co worker who just had a baby and we both have the same problems.

Now I'm not sure bout female babies but we both have male babies and it seems the only thing that stops them from crying is the boob.

Some times it's hard to console Brenden when the wife is not around or she's busy.

My tips to help babies stop crying...

Pick up the baby and walk around if that doesn't work put him in the car seat and rock him genitally, if that doesn't work pick him up and "HUSSSSSHHHHH" him to sleep...this seems to work for a couple of seconds and then he cries again...but keep on doing it.

If that doesn't work give him the bottle and if he doesn't want the bottle the soother...and if all of that doesn't work...Mom's breast will always shut them up.

I've found those things out from my father's instinct and if you think mother's instinct is strong I think a father's instinct is stronger if being Mr. Dad.

My wife does not think the boob will solve all his crying problem but I think so.

My baby is a Boob dude!

Sorry for lack of posts...I'm working on something right now...I've just bought the domain name shitdeal.com and I'm working on that right now.

I think I'm gonna create a site where people thinks they got a shit deal either from life(rants about their relationship) or just something they purchased.

Keep your eyes open for that site.